3 Ways to Not Be a Drama Mama
by Cindi McMenamin
Would you classify yourself as a Drama Mama?
I don’t think any of us sets out to be high maintenance or over-emotional but it sure is easy if we’re not on guard.
Drama happens when…
…unexpected circumstances hit and we are unprepared to handle them. And drama happens when we come up against other moms or people with different personalities who carry with them their own set of emotional baggage, learned behaviors, expectations, and an ability to misunderstand, misinterpret, exaggerate, gossip, disappoint, and act selfishly and inconsiderate. Just being around other people can elicit drama.
I’d like to think I’m never the cause of anyone else’s drama. But in reality, I can play into unnecessary drama at times without even realizing it.
Whether our drama is the petty stuff (like being gossiped about or having a bad day) or the truly painful stuff that catches us off guard (like a cancer diagnosis, the ending of a friendship, or suddenly losing someone we love), how we respond makes all the difference – or all the drama – in the world.
Our upbringing, personality, and baggage from past wounds can trigger dramatic reactions to varying degrees, especially if we are unaware of our vulnerabilities and what we are capable of. For instance:
- Do you tend to react emotionally to the unexpected, and think more clearly a little later?
- Do you have high expectations of others, especially those closest to you?
- Are you easily offended?
- Do you care deeply what others think of you?
- Would you rather stay silent than talk about an issue that’s bothering you?
If you said “yes” to some or most of those questions you’re pretty much like every other mom on this earth – you have emotions and sometimes struggle with how to express them. But you don’t have to stay that way. You and I can learn how to maturely respond – rather than emotionally react – to what life brings us so that we can dial down the drama, diffuse it, or eliminate it altogether.
Here are three steps to help you NOT be a drama mama, to save your children from embarrassment and for your own sanity:
- Consider the bigger picture. Life – and therefore every circumstance you encounter – is meant to conform you to the image of Christ (Romans 8:28-29). Once you consider this, you can relax and realize God knows what He’s doing in the circumstances He’s allowing. And you can focus on passing the test, rather than failing it through unnecessary drama.
- Capture your thoughts. In 2 Corinthians 10:5 we are instructed to take our thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ because we are in a spiritual war in which the enemy will do his best to run rampant through our thought life, creating doubt, fear, and confusion.
To take our thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ means capturing or binding them with the truth of God’s Word. Instead of entertaining a loose thought like “I can’t get through this situation” capture that thought with the truth of God’s Word: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13). Or, instead of entertaining the thought “I’m alone in this” capture that thought with the truth that Christ has said He’ll never leave you nor desert you (Hebrews 13:5). The more we know of God’s Word, the better we will be able to tame our reckless, wild thoughts.
3. Correct Your Thinking. When you begin to feel overwhelmed by life and start to freak out, ask yourself: “What am I believing about God that isn’t true?” In other words, focus on the facts, not your feelings. What are the facts about God when your feelings are telling you otherwise? When our feelings lead us down a dark tunnel of despair, we need to switch on the facts of what we know about God to direct us back out.
When we know Who God is and what He is capable of, our worries, fears, and freak-outs can be stilled.
Would you like to win a free copy of Cindi’s newest book, Drama Free? Comment below on the one thing that can turn you, unexpectedly, into a drama mama and then share this post on your social media page.
Cindi McMenamin is a national speaker and author who helps women and couples strengthen their relationship with God and others. For more on balancing your emotions and being the best woman, wife, and mom you can be, see her new book, Drama Free: Finding Peace When Emotions Overwhelm You, now available at her website www.StrengthForTheSoul.com or anywhere you buy books.