The Power of Oneness
by Drenda Keesee
“When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark” (James 3:3–5).
I encounter so many Christians who don’t understand how they could aim for somewhere great in life and still end up shipwrecked.
It’s because they…
…set in motion the law to go there. They wanted to end up prosperous and successful, but they spoke poor words over their lives. Your words are the rudder for your life, and they steer you toward your future. Even when there is wind pushing against the boat, your words can steer you toward your goal, and they can steer your marriage and family toward safety.
When you begin to understand the laws working behind strife, you see how it is detrimental to your life. We should constantly examine our words and make sure they are steering us in the right direction. Satan does not want your mouth to be in agreement with heaven. The Bible says if you speak it and believe it in your heart, you can move mountains (Mark 11:23). Satan doesn’t want mountains moved. He doesn’t want to lose territory. He doesn’t want to see your family whole.
You may say, “Well, my family knows what we’re believing for.” Really? Check out your words. If your words don’t line up with what you believe, you aren’t going to receive it. When you’re tempted to fall into strife, you need to say, “Let the winds and waves blow against us, but we’re not changing course.”
Communication is a vital part of walking in unity. You have to talk about things with your spouse and family, and the good news is you can do it without strife! If there is a topic that a husband and wife don’t talk about because it’s a sore spot, Satan can throw that up to you whenever he wants to get you in strife. You need to talk out those sore spots and put an end to them once and for all.
The Bible says you’re one with your spouse. It’s not about you anymore. It’s about the two of you, and the sooner you learn to communicate and come to an agreement with each other, things are going to begin to flow in your life and in your family life.
Jesus cursed a fig tree and caused it to die with His words (Matthew 21). The law of words works both ways. Be careful not to curse the people in your life. I cringe when I hear mothers make statements such as, “Well, you’re just a brat. You’ll never amount to anything.” They’re releasing the power of their words into that situation, and it’s going to lock that thing in place and hinder the child’s ability to see past it. The Bible says we speak blessings and curses (James 3:10). Even the world’s philosophies recognize this principle as a “self-fulfilling prophesy.” What you speak to your family member derives an expectation that they either rise to or fall with. Words of encouragement are crucial to strong families.
Communication and understanding are crucial to this process. Gary loves to go deer hunting, and at the beginning of our marriage, I resented that. At the time, we were living in the farmhouse and I thought, Why is he leaving me here to go hunting when there are so many things to get done? Meanwhile, Gary is thinking, I need a break. Why does she always have things for me to do when I want to go hunting?
This is how the enemy divides us as husband and wife. He gets you looking at your needs, your issues, and your problems. And now we’re pitted against each other instead of being in unity and working together against the enemy. As long as the enemy can divide us, he can conquer our family. He can come after our godly seed. He’s after your kids, he’s after your power, and he’s after your authority.
Gary and I had to learn to understand each other. I knew hunting was important to him because God created men with the desire to provide for their family. And Gary had to learn to put our family and me first. When we learned to understand where the other person was coming from, we began to communicate better. I stopped using “you always, you never,” because those words stop communication. They’re judgmental words. I also had to learn to be honest when I was upset about something rather than harbor it. I’ve heard the expression that women are like volcanoes—they have to let off small eruptions or they explode!
When Gary and I were coming into agreement with each other, he would ask me, “Is there anything that would keep you from coming into agreement with me? Is there anything we need to talk out? Is there anything I can do to help you out?” That consideration diffused any negative feelings I would have about him going deer hunting. A woman is a responder. What her husband sows into her, he is going to reap.
When you start working together instead of working against each other, that’s powerful. When you start communicating with understanding instead of with pointing and shouting, that’s lifechanging. The greatest area of agreement is between a husband and a wife. That’s why Satan attacks marriages. He wants to keep couples so at odds that they can’t come into agreement.
Before we took our children to Europe, Gary and I believed for a trip to Europe for ourselves. One of our company’s vendors was offering a trip to Europe for those who met a certain amount of production for that year. It didn’t look as though we were going to get the trip, but the agreement we came into almost a year prior to that was so strong that there was something in my spirit and my mouth that would not let me say we weren’t going. Even when the deadline passed and we didn’t have the production in our company to get the trip to Europe, I still believed we were going. A month went by, and we never said we didn’t win the trip. Then one morning we received a phone call from our regional sales director.
“Gary, the corporate office just called us,” he said, “and they said they have two couples positions open on this trip. They’re going to let you go since you were so close, and I get to go since I’m your RSD, even though we didn’t qualify for the trip. Your prayers did this!”
We had told him that our faith was out for this trip, so he recognized the work of God in what had happened. Faith by example, remember? But it didn’t stop there.
“And,” he said, “my wife and I are so excited that we get to go, we want to pay for you both to go to Scotland with us before we go to London. How does that sound?”
“That sounds great!” Gary exclaimed.
The greatest part was that we got to use this time to connect with our regional sales director and his wife and eventually pray for them to receive the Holy Spirit! Gary and I could have gotten mad at each other and pushed blame when we didn’t get the trip at first. I could have said if he wouldn’t have jogged or hunted so much, we could have won the trip. If we’d done that, we wouldn’t have gotten the trip. The power was in our agreement! When you walk in unity, everything else will flow—provision, promotion, and health. It’s wonderful!
Excerpt from “The New Vintage Family” by Drenda Keesee
Drenda Keesee’s contagious zeal and humorous personal experiences help make her ministry of spiritual, emotional and relational wholeness one that will bless your life and spark a new fire in your spirit.
A wife of over 30 years and a mother of five children, Drenda has ministered at churches, seminars, and conferences, and through the mediums of television and radio, for more than 20 years.
Her books, The New Vintage Family, Better Than You Think, and She Gets It are available wherever books are sold. In these heartfelt books, Drenda shares her personal journey and the life lessons that have brought her to where she is today, as well as practical answers that all people need to live a joyful life.
Drenda and her husband Gary founded Faith Life Now, a ministry designed to spread the message of freedom in the areas of finances, faith, marriage, and family. Faith Life Now hosts conferences worldwide, and sponsors both Fixing the Money Thing, which Drenda co-hosts with her husband Gary, and Drenda.
Through their own life experiences, the Keesees have found the principles from God’s Word to be powerful and effective. At one point, Drenda was a young, suicidal feminist with no hope of ever being “good enough” for her own standards of perfection. She never wanted the “inconvenience” of a husband or children, and she was on her own path to success. But the stress of trying to achieve perfection and perform for love left her broken and used. She had success, but it was nothing compared to the pain and loneliness it had also brought.
That’s when God got a hold of her heart. It was there—at her lowest point—that she found the One who accepted and loved her, faults and all. Since that transformation, Drenda has had a passion to reach women who find themselves where she once was.
She married Gary after attending college, and there she found herself in a personal boot camp of sorts. She says, “I cried and told God, ‘I can do anything but be a wife and mother.’” She committed to learning how to do it God’s way. Through the many years of raising their children and struggling to make ends meet, Drenda learned from their mistakes. “I didn’t know how to be a wife and mother, but God saved our marriage, taught us how to parent our children for success, showed us how to have financial success, and then irony of all ironies, He called us to ministry.” It’s truly because of these life experiences that Drenda can now share so many insightful principles for people who are now going through the same struggles.